ERICH FROMM ON SEX
Erich Fromm was a famous German-Jewish-American psychoanalyst. His determination to play down the contribution of man's biology to the gift of love has at least ten peculiar features, as follows.
1) Pair bonding in animals
Fromm is determined to distance the phenomenon of love from the bestial aspects of human nature. Yet many pairs of human lovers would actually be impressed if they could maintain the substantial lifelong monogamous fidelity and co-operation that is typical in species like songbirds and gibbons. To be sure, recent years have seen empirical discoveries of 10% rates of 'bastardy' in songbirds' offspring. Yet such rates of infidelity are no different from what obtains in human families (according to UK and US blood group studies of the 1990's); and, properly speaking, such occasional 'adultery' makes the long-term pair-bonding in such avian species still more remarkable.
2) Sexual influence on culture
Fromm thinks that only a post-materialist culture can do much to improve the chances for would-be lovers; but he neglects the degree to which sex itself shapes culture. Recently, it has been observed that humpback whales change their mating songs to mimic those of sexually successful immigrant whales of previous breeding seasons (New Scientist, 2001); and many artistic innovations in Western music (whether classical or popular) are likewise the result of deviant males producing new performances that have appeal primarily to audiences of sexually excited young females who determine which new variations are finally accepted. Likewise, Western religions have long had appeal primarily to females - to judge by the make-up of church congregations; and, Fromm might be shocked to find, the West's late-twentieth-century enthusiasm for capitalism has been driven not least by females' preferences for the careers that might provide them with the economic security that is so legendarily in demand by the fair sex. Fromm's attempt to view love as dependent on culture, rather than on animalistic biology, must seem strained in days when evolutionary psychology - stressing the Darwinian bases of human culture -- is enjoying as much success as did 'instinct psychology' in the 1920's.
3) *Falling* in love
Fromm's volitional conception of love makes too little room for love's often-remarked mysteries. Some 40% of happily married couples readily declare they 'fell' in love in ways that continue to defy the kind of reasonable explanation which Fromm would prefer. Recently, research has suggested that partners are actually much concerned at the beginning of a relationship to assay the state of each other's hormones - hence the enthusiasm for removing each other's clothes that is so characteristic of early courtship. In particular, a woman (at least when she is in the fertile part of her menstrual cycle) will prefer a man whose pheromonal state indicates an immune system possessing strengths *complementary* to those which her own immune system already possesses. Studies in Germany and Scotland have ascertained that people emit chemical signals so as to communicate their own immunogenetic make-up (Farrar, 2001): people having the gene HLA-A2 prefer the perfumes which they use to contain the ingredients musk and ambergris, whereas people having other genes prefer to use perfumes containing bergemot. That olfaction should play a considerable part in 'falling in love' need surprise no student of the cosmetics industry which today manages to sell its products even to men. It will probably not be long before researchers discover that true lovers like each other's own natural body odours along with many other quirky physical features. (Small, tight buttocks on men are much preferred by females - possibly because they reassure a girl that her partner is not a female or otherwise feminized.) Already, research on voles has found that the concentrated copulation of a new mating pair produces a surge of oxytocin from the female's pituitary gland, and that oxytocin injected into female voles will stimulate sexual bonding (Times 8 ix 2001, p. 1). Apparently the same phenomenon occurs in humans: according to the Wall Street Journal (Meghan Cox Gurdon, 26/27 x 2001): "Scientists at the University of Edinburgh recently found that during sexual intimacy a woman's brain releases a chemical "love potion" that alters her brain's hormonal reactions. Not only does the release of the chemical, oxytocin, create for her a bond with her mate but it appears that the more sex the couple has, the deeper her sense of commitment and love will be. Men's brain's - surprise! - do not work the same way." A woman's sense of smell has been found to be most acute at just the point in her menstrual cycle when she is most easily made pregnant (Times 26 x 2001, p. 1, reporting work by Professor Salvatore Caruso at the University of Catania, Sicily). Fromm seems to have forgotten the psychological (indeed, spiritual changes) that may commence at the very first bodily contact between a man and a young woman. Tolstoy described them delightfully in War and Peace where (Pt. III, Chap. 16), where, at a grand ball, Prince Andrew dances a waltz with the unknown debutante Natasha, her 'bosom scarcely defined':
"she was the first pretty girl who caught his eye; but scarcely had he embraced that slender, supple figure, and felt her stirring so close to him and smiling so near him, than the wine of her charm rose to his head, and he felt himself revived and rejuvenated."
Delightfully, again, a year later (Pt. V, Chap. 10), at the opera, the deserted Natasha falls for the rake, Anatole Kuragin:
"She did not know how it was that within five minutes she had come to feel herself terribly near to this man. When she turned away she feared he might seize her from behind by her bare arm and kiss her on the neck. They spoke of most ordinary things,yet she felt that they were closer to one another than she had ever been to any man. Natasha kept turning to H and to her father, as if asking what it all meant."
By contrast, with all the 'will' in the world, men and women who meet via dating agencies seldom fall in love. Notoriously, despite intense selection of partners by rational criteria, the UK television programme 'The Mating Game' struggled even to have its 'lucky' couples say they enjoyed their free week together in a hotel; and marriages seldom resulted.
4) Love's evolution-based triggers
Fromm's disparaging attitude to the possibility of learning sexual techniques and thus improving a romantic/marital relationship can hardly be blamed on him. After all, passably effective 'sex therapy' (a creative branch of 'behaviour therapy') arrived only in the 1960's. However, it is strange that Fromm was so unwilling to consider the very serious contribution that can be made to love and marriage by such simple things as a trim female appearance and a bulging male bank balance. Men need to see regular signals giving reassurance as to their partner's fidelity - signals that are not easy to arrange convincingly in a world where women go out to work. For their part, women need the feeling of security that comes not from occasional massive expenditures on mortgages but from a more constant supply of attention, kindness and tokens of continued affection. (Evolutionarily, the cave-dwelling human female did much better to seek many *small* gifts rather than occasional large donations for which, after all, she had no refrigerator.) To forget such practical contributions to the art of loving is especially strange in a psychoanalyst who is quite frank that love needs to be *practised* and prepared for by 'disciplined exercise.'
5) Physical beauty
Even the sombre Plato maintained that good looks would be a natural part of "authentic love" - though the "disciplined and cultured" lover would admittedly not go beyond kissing and fondling his young boyfriend (Republic 403a). In recent years, Scottish psychologists have shown that beauty is not an individual matter as Fromm likes to believe: rather, men possess absolute Platonic standards of beauty which allow the creation (by computer) of female images agreed to be more beautiful (on averaged ratings) than any they have yet seen. Perrett et al., 1994, record of their overlaid photos of young females: "attractive composites can be made more attractive by exaggerating the shape differences from the sample mean." The pursuit of the idea of physical beauty naturally leads on to the love of moral beauty, as Plato's Socrates explained (in The Symposium). About men, especially, John Updike (2000) has his character Gertrude declare (in his Gertrude and Claudius) "love is part of their ruthless quest for beauty" (p. 186).
6) Sex first -- Love and Happiness later
Fromm's view is:
"Sexual attraction creates, for the moment, the illusion of union; but without love this "union" leaves strangers as far apart as they were before - sometimes it makes them feel ashamed of each other, or even makes them hate each other, because when the illusion has gone they feel their estrangement even more markedly than before" (pp. 54-5).
This claim comes as near to being a testable proposition as Fromm's ideas ever do. Yet research has not been supportive. Sexually liberal couples who told American psychologists they did *not* regard love as a prerequisite for sexual intercourse were actually just as happy and stable over the subsequent two years as were couples holding more conventional views (Peplau et al., 1977): in both cases, some 35% of couples were still dating and 20% had married.
7) The barely detectable work of the will
Fromm was understandably concerned to talk up the long-term nature of love - in line with mankind's deepest aspirations if not with the sorry realities of divorce in the late-twentieth-century West. Yet it is far from clear that an emphasis on the volitional aspect of love is helpful to Fromm's endeavour. Notoriously, the work of the human will is exceptionally hard to pin down. By contrast, there is substantial determination of people by their personalities and by their previous histories of choice. By talking of love as 'an act of will', Fromm might have been thinking of the commitment of young people in 'arranged' Hindu marriages. Here, the hope is that the act of promising between comparative strangers may be followed by the growth of love. Doubtless this *can* happen, just as love *may* follow a Western pair's decision to live together; but such a development of sincere affection and erotic attraction is surely based far more often on the good sense exercised by the Hindu parents when selecting the partners and arranging the terms of the marriage. Notoriously, people can relatively easily fall in love with a partner who has a similar level of attractiveness to third parties. The happy Hindu couple's performative acts of will are only a small part of a much larger pattern of causation.
What actually is the 'will' of which Fromm expects so much? 'Will' seems to exist *necessarily* when processes of reason and intelligence furnish adumbrations of the passions and suggest possible strategies for achieving one's objectives. Volition is what emerges from weighing competing passions, reasons and arguments. What a person finally decides to do is a question of which way the balance tips. One cannot 'decide' to want anything; one can only *want* something (more or less 'passionately'), and then find oneself selecting the most reasonable means of achieving it. 'Will' may perhaps *keep* the scales tipped, in preference to resuming the process of reflection; but such 'obstinacy' will itself be either a reasoned or a passionate alternative to re-opening the matter that had been temporarily concluded.
So elusive (if sometimes crucial) is the work of the human will that -- unlike the mind, the heart, the soul and the spirit -- 'the will' does not receive much mention in the Bible. It was actually first introduced by St Augustine as a way of explaining how, despite supposed divine omnipotence, we are all somehow free either to accept God's revelation or to reject it. For Fromm to think the human will capable of producing love is largely mistaken. It is also dangerous, for it may lead Fromm's readers to make vain commitments in their quest for love. Fromm should have remembered Oscar Wilde:
"[Fidelity] has nothing to do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say" (in The Picture of Dorian Gray).
The only way to make the will responsible for love would be to define 'the will' as something other than it is. An example would be when the philosopher Bishop Berkeley (1685-1753) decided that 'The soul is the will, properly speaking' and asked 'Whether Identity of Person consists not in the Will' (quoted in Warnock, 1987). Again, the twentieth-century Surrealists, Andre Breton, Antonin Artaud and Max Ernst, thought of the will as energy which could be liberated through destruction; and they believed - with Adolf Hitler, in fact -- that intellect had become a 'cancer of life' which would be replaced by a new age which was based on Will (Bowden, 1992). However, while to interpret the will as 'soul' or 'energy' would make it more capable of causing love, Fromm the rationalist could never himself have agreed to see will as in any way *opposed* to intellect.
8) Man's dark side
Fromm was concerned to stress man's rational nature and its potential for good. As elsewhere in his work, he believed human reason could yield 'productive love' and triumph over the 'sick' and imperfect social systems under which people find themselves living. The problem for such pleasing optimism and for Fromm's trite homilies is that they do little to explain how human nature worked itself into such a dreadful mess in the first place. Fromm's idealism would be more convincing if it looked as if it were successfully addressing the dark and disagreeable aspects of human nature that have created the necessity for Fromm's spiritualistic moralising. As things stand, Fromm often seems as out-of-touch as is the Polonius of Shakespeare's Hamlet.
9) Instinct according to Fromm
Actually, Fromm himself was far from being resolutely averse to attributing importance to biological factors as decreed by evolutionary history. Around 1950, Fromm made a sally into speculation about necrophilia, concluding that humans have an 'anal-olfactory-hating orientation' -- supposedly characteristic of four-legged mammals and apparently demanding an obsessive sniffing of each other's bottoms. No doubt Fromm wished to pay proper homage to Freud's appreciation that there are deep-seated destructive (thanatic) as well as constructive (erotic) tendencies in human nature. Yet man is intrinsically a bipedal animal built for carrying food over long distances. The whole history of male arrangements to ensure female fidelity (notably by means of religion) probably dates back to the hunting males of northern latitudes who had to be absent from their females for days so as to provision them and their offspring. Fromm's foolish attempt to link man's nature to that of grazing quadrupeds serves only to highlight a remarkable point: even though Fromm was prepared to postulate deep, indeed animalistic bases for disgust and hate, he was not prepared to envisage a strong biological basis for love.
10) Penis envy
Fromm's 'Trotskyite' revisionism, like that of Karen Horney, focused particularly on denying Freud's claims that the human female experiences 'penis envy' and blames her 'missing penis' on her mother. Yet the idea of penis envy arguably expresses a very serious biological reality: that women want to have boy children who will for the first time 'give them a penis' by which they can breed in quantity and not just for quality. More prosaically, little girls may be well advised to envy their penis-equipped brothers - for that is indeed where any surplus maternal resources are likely to be wasted (see Badcock, 1994). In drawing her mother's attention to such wasteful expenditure on her brothers (i.e. by 'telling tales'), a little girl may have her best chance of diverting maternal resources from her brother(s) to herself. It is strange that Fromm should have been reluctant to acknowledge the specially powerful bond that exists in most cultures between mothers and their sons - at least when the son does well in early Oedipal jousting and seems worthy of maternal investment. Again, Fromm's railing against Freud's notion of the 'castration complex' needs a modern corrective. Since, in blood group studies, 10% of Western children are *not* the biological offspring of the man they call 'Daddy', many boys are indeed at risk of a serious lack of co-operation from, and indeed aggression from their local adult male as they move into adolescence. The fear which male homosexuals not uncommonly have for the vagina may be, for them, a vital part of a strategy that will steer relatively unprotected boys through adolescence without dangerous male-male conflicts over females.
More on Fromm and his ideas
here
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Some history.
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